A Little Boredom

My sister came on Tuesday to go ice skating with us and then left Wednesday morning taking Michaela with her.  Natasha seemed a little bit better after they left, we're wondering if she was jealous that Michaela took Hailey's attention from her. The older girls tried to include Natasha, but since most of what girls do together involves talking, it's kind of tough to include someone who doesn't speak English.  Natasha is learning pretty well, but not the level needed to keep up with whatever it is that teenage girls chat about.

She is picking up English rapidly.  I'm a bit disappointed that she hasn't used the Pimsleur ESL program I gave her (except when we're in the car and I turn it on) but she does understand a lot of what is said around the house.  We can pretty much function in the house without the translator app now but for anything without contextual clues we need the app.

After Tracey left yesterday we spent the day catching up on things.  Hailey was working on Chemistry most of the day, Marine was catching up with real estate clients from the holidays and I was working on preparations for our new listings.  That left Natasha aimlessly wandering the house complaining that she was bored (internet is banned for the moment).

Boredom is often an issue for new foster kids (or Ukrainian orphans). They've always had very structured days in an institutional setting, or they've just been left with unlimited TV & internet access. We're the types who think it's important and healthy for kids to have down time in which to read, play or create things and just learn how to entertain themselves sometimes.  In the end it always works out well and it's amazing how resourceful and creative kids become.  But in the beginning there's a bit of an adjustment.  She has tons of crafts which we gave her for Christmas so wasn't without possibilities but she spent most of the day wandering.

She did help make dinner, we had a sushi night and I wasn't sure how that would go over but she loved it! Then as little kids were heading for bed Natasha discovered the guinea pig. She and Hailey were up until after midnight playing with it and didn't quite understand why I wouldn't let it sleep with them.

Settling In

Kids are on Christmas break this week so Hailey's been home and my niece Michaela has stayed with us since Saturday.  It's been a lot of fun to have 3 teenage girls in the house! When Hailey returned from her family visit Natasha ran right to her screeching "Haaiilleeeyy" and gave her the biggest hug!

We're definitely seeing more of the transition/moody teen issues from Natasha now.  I let the girls have the computer in their room at night while Michaela's here (usually we're a fairly tech free household). Apparently Natasha decided to take advantage and stay up until 5:30 am the last 2 nights while spending time on VK (European Facebook).  That resulted in an overtired, sulky teenager for most of the time.  So tonight we will be going back to tech-free!




On Sunday we took a trip to a petting farm, Natasha had fun with the donkey & jumping on the haybales. Yesterday was a snow day spent watching movies until the power went out.

We did go ice-skating with everyone again today and they all loved it. Natasha spent most of the time taking selfies on the ice but I think she got some skating in. I just looked at her phone and she has 317 pictures on it (that's in 10 days)!  Welcome to the life of a teenager...

Meet Natasha in Person!

The clock is ticking.... Natasha came to the US, not only for an American experience, but to have a forever family step forward for her. In just 2 1/2 short years, at age 16, she will age out of the orphanage system, and expected to live on her own.  

She leaves the US on January 14th and returns to her orphanage. We are having a casual meet and greet of Natasha on Jan. 9th, at Dream Lanes from 11-1 (please RSVP to michelle@michelleyoo.com). We hope you will join us. Even if you are not her forever family, would you join us, and help spread the word? If you have any questions about hosting a child, or questions about adoption, please contact us!

Natasha is an amazing child, and she deserves what every child needs: a family to call her own.

Family Christmas

After traveling back home Christmas Day we set right to prepping for my sister Tracey and her family to visit on Saturday. Natasha was tasked with vacuuming again and still thinks it's a super fun job!

Tracey has 2 daughters, Kaydan and Michaela, ages 10 & 16 and a son Christopher, age 13.  It was awesome to have all of them in the house for the weekend. Natasha did super well early in the day and looked very happy opening her presents. She said they don't celebrate Christmas in the orphanage so this was her first time ever (I apologize for the video quality, I was taking it with a baby crawling up my arm).

Natasha, Hayley & Michaela had a great time playing on the internet for a while, practicing their selfie skills and texting each other while in the same room (I still don't get the point of that - teenagers I guess).

Making Smores in the Living Room

Later in the day we played a fun game of Charades but Natasha didn't want to participate and was fairly irritable and sad for the rest of the day.  It's the first time we'd seen that from her and we're not quite sure what the cause was but she turned it around by next morning.  It's a pretty common response for children from these situations. They look at the joy & happiness of Christmas and a family gathering and realize that they've been missing out their entire lives on what others take for granted. And in Natasha's case, she may never have another Christmas unless she finds a family.

She did however set right to work on making the fleece blanket she received as a present and by the end of the day she had it completed and was curled up on the couch with it.

How You Can Help

Many people have asked how to help so here's some ideas.  You can always email me for more information: michelle@michelleyoo.com

Hosting

Whether or not you're interested in adoption, hosting is a wonderful opportunity both for your family and for the child.  There are many organizations, the one we use is called Project 143.  There are usually winter and summer opportunities.  The cost is around $2,800 and is tax deductible.  Some of the children have grants, and many families successfully fundraise for the cost.

In an orphanage, a child over 5 years old has less than a 1% chance of being adopted.  When they come for hosting, that increases to over 65%!  Even if they're not adopted, hosting still provides many wonderful benefits.  The children get to experience life in a happy, healthy family. Orphanage directors often report amazing increases in self confidence when they return.  Many host families continue contact with their host children long after hosting and give them the support of a family, even if from overseas.

Assist a Host Family

When children arrive for hosting, they come with the clothes that they're wearing and a small backpack.  Ours carried a broken hairbrush, a toothbrush, toothpaste, a small ziploc of old makeup supplies and a bottle of cheap perfume.  That's it.  Many of them have never seen a dentist in their life or an eye doctor.  They've never had normal childhood experiences, haven't gone bowling, been to the zoo, played checkers, etc.  Here's a list of many things that would help host families:

• Assist with the hosting fees.  This is a tax deductible donation.  If you'd like to donate to our hosting expenses you can follow this link:  
• Dental services - many children have never seen a dentist and have significant needs.
• Vision care - most have never seen an eye doctor.
• Clothing - They come with the clothes they're wearing and usually don't own much else.  Gently used donations are wonderful to have something for them to wear after arrival (an immediate shopping trip would be overwhelming). After they're acclimated, the chance to go  to a mall and buy new clothes is something most have never had the chance to do.
• Toys/Crafts - Since they've missed childhood experiences, even teens enjoy somewhat younger activities. Our 13 yr old girl loved craft kits from Michaels.
• ESL program - Pimsleur ESL or Rosetta Stone ESL programs are wonderful to help them learn English while here.  English can provide a big increase in their chances of adoption and is a lifelong help for them.
• Gift Certificates/Activities - we usually try to pack quite a few activities into a short amount of time but that can be a significant cost since most things involve the entire family.  Gift certificates or tickets to activities are a wonderful gift.  Examples of things we've done/would like to do with kids: 
• Bowling, movies, ice skating, rollerskating, mini golf, restaurant, swimming, horseback riding, go carts, waterpark/amusement park, petting zoo, camping.
• Assist with Advocating - Spread the word!  Share information about the children here with friends, family, colleagues, churches.  Do you have a connection to a newspaper, other active bloggers? Host a dinner or party for people to meet the host child (child is just told it's a dinner/party).  

Adoption

Do you have room for another place at the table? If so, please at least consider adoption.  It's not for everyone, but there are many options.  There are young children available (1 yr and older when they come home) all the way up to 16 years old. There are healthy children, children with medical needs, children with developmental disabilities.  There are single children and sibling groups.  There are struggles, these children are by definition hurt children (no one becomes an orphan because things were good), and love won't heal all wounds but it sure can go a long way.  

The thought of traveling across the ocean to bring home an unknown child can be scary, but that's where hosting is such an incredible opportunity.  You can bring the child to your family for a month and get to know them.

To adopt from Ukraine, the cost can be anywhere from $25,000-$40,000 (including travel) and requires usually 2 trips.  However there is a $13,000 adoption tax credit which brings it down to potentially only $12,000. There is also a possibility of setting up an account through your church so that the payments can be tax deductible. 

Christmas Travels

We traveled to my grandparents for Christmas and Natasha did quite well with all of the new people.  We had a minor issue preparing clothes for church on Christmas Eve.  Natasha had picked out a cute dress when a friend took her shopping, but it was the kind of (short) dress which requires leggings.  She had a pair of see through nylons which she intended to wear and would not exactly have been appropriate for a 13 yr old girl (or anyone else for that matter).  In Ukraine the standards are very different so we got the chaperone/translator on the phone to try to explain things.  After a few minutes of going back and forth, Natasha reluctantly agreed to the leggings and said she did not like it but she would do it.

I was expecting another argument later when we were getting ready for church, since many 13 yr old girls would push the issue however she got dressed without complaint.  After church she said "this is the first time I liked wearing a dress"!

She seems to really enjoy craft activities.  We opened Santa presents while at grandparents' (the rest will come on the weekend) and she got a fleece pillow making kit.  The one thing I didn't consider was that the instructions were all in English.  As we were at another family Christmas she got out her phone and was beginning to type each word into Google translate so she could do it (would have taken hours!).  Instead, Grandma helped her and she was quite proud of her pillow once completed.

We also learned that she's never vacuumed before!  She volunteered to vacuum the church after our family Christmas there - thought it was the best job in the world.

It seems that she's at the tough age, walking the line between being a child and trying to grow up.  Sometimes all she wants to do is get on VK (European version of Facebook) and take "selfies", but then other times she's ecstatic about crafts or is outside trying to ambush us with snowballs.  No matter where you're from I think that's a hard age but especially in an orphanage situation - she's never had the chance to be a kid, but there's also a lot of pressure to grow up fast and not be vulnerable.

Haircut & Learning More

Yesterday a Ukrainian friend of ours took Natasha to get her hair cut. She initially was against the idea, I think that she thought we were going to have it all cut off or something. But once we started looking at pictures for ideas she was very excited and had a great time.

It was great for her to be able to talk to someone in her own language as well. We learned that she talks to her brother a lot (adult brother) but they don't see each other and are now separated by the border in the war. She is interested in adoption if she can know the family first (certainly understandable!). According to our friend, Natasha also is very involved in dance and travels a lot around Ukraine for dancing. We'll have to ask her more about that!

Tonight we each opened a Christmas present and tomorrow are heading up north for Christmas with family. Natasha says they don't celebrate Christmas at the orphanage so this should be a new experience for her. We gave her a sketchbook and artists' pencil set which she was very happy with (she likes to draw).

Dentist Visit

Yesterday we took Natasha to church and everyone was incredibly welcoming to her. She joined in our family game night and knew how to play Uno quite well.

Today we had a dentist appointment and it turned out wonderfully. I'd heard horror stories about the lack of dental care but Natasha actually had 4 fillings from somewhere else and the dentist said she didn't have any current cavities! The dentist did ask me to find out if she'd ever had any teeth pulled (she said no), but in the course of trying to ask her that I think I scared her and she thought we were going to pull teeth today. A BIG thank you to Dr. Tim Kinzel of Children's Dental Center of Madison for donating his services to her!

Clothing Needs

For those who are interested in donating clothes, we figured out sizes. Shirts are S or XS, pants are 1 (or 0 if they run big), Shoes are 5 in womens.

Adjustments

Natasha tried some English words today! And I learned she can read some English - apparently her brother has good English. We visited with a friend who has a daughter from Ukraine and Natasha had a great time, didn't want to leave. It was with the friend that she tried her first English words smile emoticon After getting back home she snuggled with me on the couch and we looked at family photos on the computer for a bit - she enjoyed looking at pics of our zoo trips and named the animals she knew in English. After that she went upstairs and crashed, didn't join us for our family pizza & movie night but I think she's just overwhelmed.

Hayley (16 yr old foster daughter) has been a rockstar in helping with Natasha. She's making a point to see that Natasha brushes her teeth regularly and puts pajamas on for bed (not always common for orphanage kids). They share a bedroom and bathroom so it's easy for Hayley to encourage that without it seeming like criticism. And tonight she noticed that Natasha wore the same outfit two days in a row so she said "I think I'm going to put those clothes in the wash tonight so she'll have to wear something different tomorrow."

We did learn that she has an adult brother & sister still in Ukraine as well as her mother. She's mentioned the brother fairly frequently.

First Day

First day went pretty well. It appears she doesn't know ANY English, so the translate app is working well but I'm hoping she'll try more words as she warms up. So far she doesn't even attempt any - probably nervous.

1/2way through the day a friend came over and when "Natalya" introduced herself as "Natasha" I got quite the surprise. Apparently those names are the same in Russian (?) but she prefers Natasha.

We ended the day with ice skating at Capitol Ice and Natasha & Hayley had a blast trying to keep each other from falling, then usually ending up in a heap together.

Natalya's Arrival

We made it home at 6:30 and she went straight to bed! Was wide awake on the car ride though until the last hour. She listened to the first lesson in the Pimsleur ESL program we got her and then we had fun trying to use our translate app to talk.

Kind of sad though, when I asked what she liked to do she replied with an honest "I don't know." When I asked what kind of food she liked she said "I don't know." From what I've heard from others, I think those are true statements, she's never gotten the chance to have likes or dislikes.

Almost Here

I just got our welcome letter translated and sent off to the coordinator! I guess they won't give it to her until she gets on the plane, but she'll have a 14 hour flight to read it.

It's really amazing to think about how brave these kids are. At 13 yrs old she knows absolutely nothing about us, not even our names yet, but she's willing to get on a plane, travel 1/2way around the world and live with complete strangers for a month who don't even speak her language. I don't think I'd have the courage for that!

The Beginning

Caring for children has always been our mission in life. We’ve adopted 2 children from foster care, fostered dozens of others and hosted foreign exchange students. Now we have found an incredible way to help children in orphanages around the world…

Project 143 is a non-profit which brings children from orphanages into “host families” for 4-5 weeks for Christmas and summer. These are older children (8-15 yrs old) who have a less than 1% chance of ever being adopted. With Project 143, they get to experience the love of a family, make potentially lifelong connections and have the possibility of finding an adoptive family. More than 65% of hosted children are adopted either by their host family or due to the people they meet while here!

We’re hoping to raise awareness of this incredible program, encourage others to host children and help to fund the hosting fees to bring them here.

It costs around $3,000 to bring one child here plus money for clothes, medical and dental care. They’ll arrive with the clothes they’re wearing, a SMALL knapsack and nothing else. They also have never had dental care or an eye exam.

When we first heard of this program I said “sounds wonderful, maybe next year when we can save up for it”. But then I couldn’t stop thinking about it and looking at all those pictures of children without families.

The starfish story kept coming to me. We can’t help all of them, but we can make a difference to one. It would be easy to say “maybe next year”, but these kids can’t wait.

So we’re asking for your support. Please consider if you have room in your hearts and home to help one “starfish”. Share this page with anyone who may be willing to help. If you don’t have room this year perhaps you could donate funds (tax deductible) to help other families bring children over. Or maybe you have a service to offer, gently used clothing to give, books, room decor – anything will help.