Learning More

We've learned quite a bit more about Natasha's situation over the past few days since we've been around some Ukrainian friends more and she was able to talk to them without a language barrier.  Again, very impressive how resilient she is considering all she's been through.

She's from the region of Ukraine that is actively involved in the war with Russia.  Natasha told our friends that her city was being bombed and that she spent a lot of time praying until all the orphans were evacuated to a different city.  Her brother is still on the other side of the border so she doesn't get to see him but apparently he's very protective of her and tries to guide her (he's 20 yrs old).  In the summer the orphanages close so if the kids aren't in a summer hosting program or camp then they're turned out on to the streets to fend for themselves.

We met up with Anastasia (Ukrainian friend) who told us that Natasha is very smart and well-read, and in fact that she was able to talk to her about some books they'd both read. Unfortunately, Natasha told me that she doesn't go to school often and no one there cares whether or not she goes.  But our girl has aspirations! She wants to go to college to be a choreographer and she likes her chemistry class because her teacher is really good.  There aren't a lot of rules in the orphanage, everyone kind of fends for themselves, yet she's been pretty good about following rules here.

I've been able to find out a bit about her circumstances at the orphanage. So, she has absolutely nothing of her own.  We're not sure exactly how many kids are there because they keep adding more kids as they evacuate other orphanages caught up in the conflict.  Natasha shares a room with 6 other girls and all of the clothes are shared between them. I would like to say that they share clothes and all the other things, but they really don't have other things :(.

We went shopping at Walmart today to get supplies for her to take back.  We're allowed to send one suitcase weighing no more than 50 lbs. It took 2 1/2 hrs to get through Walmart with her!  She's very sweet & appreciative of everything. You would think that knowing this is her last chance to buy anything she'd be asking for everything in the store, yet she only asked for a few items here and there. I tried to balance between getting things she needed and things that would just be nice.

So, sad story. I had heard that another girl from her same orphanage was sneaking bandages from the host family and packing them so I asked Natasha what she thought they needed.  She wanted sponges to clean, laundry detergent and soap. We decided the detergent would be too heavy but got the other items.  Most of what we got was necessities - underwear, socks, notebooks for school, toothbrushes, pencils, scissors, etc.

A big thing that she told Anastasia she wanted was "American makeup".  The kids who are picked for hosting are looked up to by the others so returning with American makeup and clothes is a big ego boost for them (which is sadly needed). Again though, she was happy with whatever she got. As much as I would have liked to buy her the best of everything, we decided to buy cheaper items so we could get more for her (plus we're starting to save for the summer hosting program). She asked for lipstick, got one and was super happy (most teens would have said "can I please get two?" believe me, I know).  She had also asked for a pair of earrings and was thrilled with a $3 pair.

This girl is very sweet and empathetic. She also got a shirt for her brother & her chemistry teacher as well as chocolates for the orphanage director.  I think the shirt for her brother cost me $7 and she was thrilled.  It's such a chance from most of my past foster teens who are often only satisfied with brand name items. (She would like a pair of Nike shoes though, so we're going to try to find some tomorrow).

When we got to the checkout, I had picked up a set of "N" monogram earrings & necklace - intended as an airport surprise but I forgot to hide it. I had also printed out 160 pictures of her time here with us.  She was so excited and happy when she saw those, she couldn't believe I had gotten them for her.  In the hosting training they cautioned us to not take the kids shopping early on in the hosting as it could set an expectation of "rich Americans" who would always buy things. So I listened, but she was so happy that part of me wishes I had taken her sooner. Live and learn.