Going Back

Natasha could barely sleep the night before departure and woke up earlier than I had ever seen her. She spent the morning doing girly stuff with Hailey, like makeup and hair and giggling and… yeah, girly stuff.  I witnessed some very sweet moments exemplified by our very own Hailey as she hurriedly got ready for school. She made some hot cocoa for Natasha and then gave her a gift of hot cocoa to take home to Ukraine as well.

As Hailey started going out to the end of our driveway, Natasha looked at me and I nodded to her and she followed Hailey out. Mind you, it was about 10 degrees outside and even though she's from Ukraine, Natasha does not like the cold.  But I saw Natasha follow her out and stand with her while they waited for the bus. When they saw that I was trying to take pictures of them from afar, they both started gesturing and goofing off at me. Teens.

For the rest of the morning, it was mostly making some last minute prepwork. Marine made Natasha some French toast and bacon and she ate more than I’ve seen her eat in awhile.  When Natasha learned that only Michelle was going with to the airport, she was definitely disappointed. I wish our boys were a little bit older so that we could make these types of trips together but that long of a ride just would not work for them.

We had packed the night before so everything was ready to go. She was allowed one suitcase and one backpack.  We had a lot more clothes than she could possibly fit (thank everyone!) and we were required to return everything she came with regardless of condition so a fair amount of space was given over to her winter coat.  The good news is we were able to keep things for summer (more on that at the end).  I kept wondering how much of what I was packing would be hers to keep and how much would be community property.  On one hand, I know the other kids need things too so it's good if they can all take advantage of it, but on the other hand it would be nice for Natasha to have some nice things that are really hers.  

My boys all got hugs and kisses from Natasha and took multiple pictures with her. Two year old Remy couldn’t quite understand that Natasha was leaving to go home. He’s very empathetic and senses everything. He knew that there was something amiss. Weston was a trooper as usual and promptly asked when the next teen guest would be coming. I guess our home has had a revolving door of teenagers, huh?

As for Marine, he received the longest and tightest hug he has ever received from Natasha by far. He's not one of those types of guys that thinks crying is for losers, but he made sure not to anyways. He didn't want the last image Natasha sees of us (at least for awhile) to be sadness.

The ride down was okay but she wasn't too talkative which is certainly understandable. It was hard to figure out what to say.  The one thing that was constant was "bad Ukraine, no airplane, go home." It was half joking at first, but when we got within sight of the airport became quite earnest.  It was tough because she is only 13 and although she kind of gets it, I don't think it makes sense to most kids (or adults). She's stuck in an orphanage there in the middle of a war zone with 500 other kids, shares a room with 6 other girls and needed to pack extra soap to return with.  Here there is a family (or two) who enjoys having her, no war, and the ability to meet basic needs and have a few nice things too.  Why not stay?

We tried to make a few more good memories and stopped for lunch at an Indian restaurant (I had to make Marine jealous, we both love Indian food).  There was a minor hiccup though when Natasha accidentally left her iphone in the restaurant and I had to drive back (we were only about 5 min down the road though). Natasha was particularly hard on herself over this, repeatedly telling herself “dura, dura”. This means “stupid” in Russian. It was almost like she was afraid to do anything at the end which might cause us to not like her as much.

We got to the airport and met the other families.  The kids were fairly happy to see each other but not as much as I'd expected.  I kind of thought they'd be comparing clothes and forget the host families but that wasn't the case at all.  Natasha stayed right by me until the end. We took photos and there were a lot of hugs, she tried to smile in the beginning, but as we got closer to departure time she started crying. 

When the actual departure occurred, it happened FAST. One minute everyone was hanging and relaxing in the gate and then the chaperone said time to go and everyone had to move quickly. I was going to Facetime Marine, my parents and the other important family (coming up) but had to settle for a quick voice call to Marine as I walked along with them towards security.  The ending was heartbreaking.

And just like that, Natasha was on her way back home across half the globe.  But there's more to come...